Badger Bridge is burning down

This just in. Due to colder than normal temperatures in Surrey, England, locals have been burning badgers in an effort to keep warm. Previously, residents had used beech wood as an alternate heat source but recent studies have shown that while beech burns hotter, badger burns longer. "We kept the entire lounge toasty warm the whole night with just one badger!" said one satisfied resident.

One drawback to the practice of badger burning is the clouds of oily smoke that result. This photograph was taken early this morning in the village of Windlesham with Bagshot*and shows the amount of smoke produced from just a handful of homes. NASA officials reported that the smoke can be seen from space, via the Hubble telescope.

East Surrey Badger Protection Society members remain horrified and are joining with the Environment Agency of England and Wales and the Badger Racing Association in an effort to stop this heinous and environmentally threatening practice before it spreads to other parts of Great Britain. No badgers could be reached for comment.

*Windlesham with Bagshot - Probably,'Win(d)el's homestead/village' but perhaps, 'windlass homestead/village'. 'Bacga's corner of land' or perhaps, 'badgers' corner of land'.